Namaste IKEA!

August 11, 2018

Picture Credit- @IKEASverige/ Twitter

 

Hey IKEA,

 

Warm welcome to this lovely chaos we call India!

August 2018 happens to be a great month to launch your first store. We celebrate 71 years of independence next week. Seeing the humongous crowds that turned up for your inaugural day I did half-heartedly expect Gandhiji to resurrect who to me was indeed the original founder of the DIY (Do It Yourself) movement with his spinning wheel.

 

However, I do strongly suspect, that many Hyderabad folks thronged in just to have the biryani served in your restaurant to verify if it can match up to their trusted overhyped national disappointment also known as ‘Paradise Biryani’.

 

 

Not so long ago when our economy was not liberalized, foreign made goods had an enigma of their own and one had to depend on either smugglers or NRI relatives who doubled up as smugglers. Both categories enjoying high social status.  

 

More than innovation in furniture designs, Ikea with a space of 400,000+ sq ft in it’s store, sure will provide ample quality time for couples who can have lengthy debates while choosing the perfect cutlery, furnishings etc.

 

Will India become the next superpower?.  I don’t know.

 

Will the employment rates rise enough to meet the number of graduates we churn out?  Not sure.

 

Will the polka dot table cover match the cutlery?
No way. Need to exercise my freedom of expression right away.

 

I am personally quite charmed by the DIY (Do It Yourself) philosophy. After all we live in the 21st century, and as citizens of the free world, we can indeed compensate for any lack of personal accomplishments by assembling a table or cupboard. However even this task like most domestic chores will get outsourced to the house help to figure out independently.

 

It’s indeed a vicious circle. Soon Ikea will start sending out its catalogues to customers which are bound to make people feel guilty and lead them to fill the void in their life by buying some outrageous showpieces.

 

Maneuvering through this labyrinth of diverse consumer trends across the nation, surely requires a lot of skill.

 

For example,

South Indian homes are heavy into minimalism and generally don’t have remote signs of any furniture. Just imagine OYO rooms renting out your building terrace with complimentary WiFi and a roof.

 

Whereas in Punjabi homes any unused floor space is more like a personal insult.  

 

Likewise, Gujarati homes cannot exist without an inhouse swing. Why die while sleeping when you can simply swing into the arms of death?

 

I still do remain quite optimistic of the future. Just like in a passage of time due to mass invasion of people and capital we ultimately converted the British to desis whether they like it or not, I can surely count on my countrymen to make the Swedish forget their own values soon and ultimately turn them into desis too. Gujaratis and Punjabis, it’s time to pack your bags. Look no further and invade.

 

Will Sweden’s national song soon become yesteryear Gujarati party track “Dholi Taaro, Dhol Baaje”, time will tell. Hopefully Ikea would have made enough money from its Indian unit till that day comes.

 

 

 

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