A beginner's guide to the Indian Budget 2016



It was that day of the year yesterday. I mean February 29, which comes once in every four years. It is quite literally the Uday Chopra of the Gregorian calendar. You know it's going to strike you and yet there's nothing you can do to prevent it.

Besides this, there were other matters of global prominence too, namely, the Oscars and "OMG, OMG Priyanka Chopra exhaling carbon dioxide at the Oscars." This comes as a bit of a surprise, as Indian emotions in general about American matters are pretty limited to whether or not American customs will allow you to take mango pickle into the country.

However yesterday was also Budget Day in India, or as I would like to call it, the "annual CA planetary relevance reminder". Now Budget speeches are way too boring and require endurance to watch from start to finish. Especially when Indian audiences are accustomed to the "WWE Hell in the Cell" theatrics, which are quite a common sight on an average day in the Parliament.

Budget speeches are filled with way too much of financial jargon for the common man to comprehend. Allow me to, then, put my knowledge of accountancy to some good public use finally and gain some karmic brownie points in the bargain. Trust me, you're in safe hands... well almost!

The budget session of the Parliament started as always with the finance minister posing in front of the press with an age-old briefcase which is supposed to contain the well-guarded Budget papers. In an alternate universe, in case I do get selected for this coveted post, I would love to just open a briefcase full of samosas and kachoris on Budget Day simply to troll the photographers.