Survivor's guide to B-School

A small tribute to my alma mater

Article written exclusively for India Today

Around two years back, bored with my corporate job like most millennials, I decided to take the plunge into MBA.

It is indeed a great leveller. For example, now I know that for guys with average looks, it takes a minimum of two years and an MBA degree in hand to get more than 200 picture likes on Facebook.

What I simply love about all MBA colleges in general are the brochures with models posing around with books to look academic. These are faces you shall never ever see on campus. Just like the myth of the "Yeti" whose sightings have been heard of but no confirmed reports as yet.

Somewhere amidst the innumerable SWOT tables and PERT charts, time just flew by. Placement season still remains the quickest way to get converted from a socialist into capitalist. Words of wisdom start flowing from every corner right from astrological tips to acrobatic tricks to woo recruiters.

So along with the horoscope they are kind enough to give you the lucky colour for the day. More often than not the lucky colour of the day is usually something outrageous like purple, peach etc.I have a practice of checking up the horoscope before going for interviews. Not that it will make any consequential difference to the interview outcome but I do get a better reason to console myself in case I don't clear the interview. You see it's always more convenient to blame it on Mars' alignment than me fumbling during the interview.

Thankfully, I don't make a living entertaining toddlers in a Barney costume at shopping malls. Otherwise wearing the colour purple would have been completely legit. No offence.

One gets to learn new subjects too such as HR or strategic HR (because it sounds cooler). Work productivity isn't achieved by giving employees bean bags to laze around on but giving them mild doses of punishments like going to the boss and getting your annual share of caning on your palms. This is what appraisals should really be like. However, I'll leave that debate for another day.

For our assignment submissions we had to submit them on an anti-plagiarism website. It is with great humility that I admit to have walked upon the Earth with noble souls who tried beating the system by converting text from English to Chinese to Mexican and back again to English only to get caught eventually. Ladies and gentlemen, now that is what you call the spirit of human endeavour.

Towards the end of MBA, one is also expected to submit a research thesis on a topic of global academic interest.